I need a badly needed prayer or two, and some deep encouragement. I have hit a very low point in my life. I am fighting a battle with Alcoholism, despair and deep depression.
I am totally broke, with only 40 cents left to my name, even though I have a full time job! My paycheck is getting smaller and smaller every other week. I find myself falling further behind on bills, and can barely afford to put gas into a 26 year old rusty car. I am no longer allowed to have overtime, and it is getting harder and harder for me to get ahead financially.
I feel like a total failure in life. I tried very hard to do my best work for the company I work for, only to get screwed with criticism and lower pay. I can't afford to leave this job, and now with all the bills piling up, it is hard to keep up.
I feel like giving up on life. Thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind a few times. The only thing that keeps me going is a faded dream of someday becoming a writer and an artist.
My health is failing. I can't afford to see a doctor, dentist or anyone else. I am worried that if money doesn't come in soon, that I will end up homeless, and out of a job.
How do I keep going, when my life totally sucks right now?
I am extremely lonely, single (wanting to have a loving partner) depressed, frustrated, angry, etc.
I am wondering why God is so pissed off at me. What did I do wrong? I am trying very hard to be a decent person, but I keep failing at everything I try.
What can I do, when I am totally broke and things seem hopeless? Any encouragement you can give me will be greatly appreciated.
A very Lonely Guy...Eric in California
My Dear Eric,
You are "Two Phone Calls, Four Books, and A Movie" away from having your whole life change. I am so glad you have written to me!
First, I want you to know that I have been where you are. I had nothing after having suffered a broken neck in a car accident. I was unable to work, and wound up living under the stars, with no shelter except for a camping tent, no car, no food except what I could scrape together with the money I could scrounge picking up soda cans and beer bottles in the park and asking people for loose change on the street. I have been there, Eric. I have been there.
(Oh, and by the way, I was not there for a week or two, or a bad month or so. I was there for a year. All of this is described in my book, Friendship with God. )
At the time, I thought I was never going to get out of there, never going to get off the street. I was 50 years old, Eric. Who hires a 50-year-old who looks like a derelict?
First of all, about the "badly needed prayer," we'll go there at the end of this communication! With regard to "badly needed encouragement," let me tell you that this is not the end of the line for you, there is much more life yet to be lived, with much more joy and much more peace and much more love and much more excitement and fulfillment and just plain fun in store. But first, you have to really choose it. And choosing it requires action that takes courage.
Eric, pick up the phone and call Alcoholics Anonymous. Do it. Right now, after reading this message. Do it. Stop arguing with yourself and just do it.
Your story is one they have heard many, many times. The people who you will meet at AA are compassionate, deeply understanding, and powerfully helpful. Pick up the phone, and then get over there to their next meeting. There, you will be helped to get in touch with a Higher Power, a Source of Power that some people believe is outside of themselves. I don't happen to agree with that description. I believe that the Power is within you. I believe that the Power is God, and that God lives within you, expressing AS you. This is what CwG has told me, and that thought has changed my life.
It doesn't matter, however, whether you believe that God is One with you or "out there" somewhere. Either way, a BELIEF in this Power can change your life. This Power, Eric, can defeat your alcoholism, and every other negative experience or energy that is part of your life. This Power, Eric, can overcome it all. And what AA can do is help you get in touch with this Power. Without using this Power, Eric, you are powerless.
If I give you a car, but you refuse to drive it, in that sense you are immobile. You can't get from here to there. The truth is, you are NOT immobile, you have a car to drive, but if you do not use it, you may as well not have it. It is the same way with God. If you do not "use" God, you are powerless over the addiction that has controlled you. For the Power IS God--whether you believe it is outside of you or within you.
So go to the phone in the next three minutes and call Alcoholics Anonymous. Or go to your computer, turn it on, and navigate to:
Just click on the link I have provided.
There is nothing shameful or embarrassing about seeking help, Eric. You have done so by writing to me. Now take the next step.
Some of the most famous people in the world have acknowledged their addiction to some substance or experience. The truth is, nearly all of us are addicted to something. Some of us are addicted to love. Some to security. Some to sex. Some to drugs or alcohol. Some are addicted to power, and will do anything to get it and hold it. Some of us have big addictions -- that is, we REALLY need -- and some of us have small addictions. But I'll bet you that nearly all us are addicted at one level or another to one experience or another. Our freedom from addiction is our path to Self Awareness. It is a path we all can take.
There are many people, methods, programs, and sources of information that can lead us to that path, Eric. The book Conversations with God is one of them. And so I am going to invite you to read CwG , Book 1 over again. I assume you have read it once, or you wouldn't be writing to me. Please read it again.
You have said that it is harder and harder to stay ahead financially. I know all about this. I have faced the exact same problem. I went to a WONDERFUL place called the Consumer Credit Counseling Service. Here is the link:
These people changed my financial life. They saved me from incredible depression, because it "looked like" I could NEVER get "out from under." They helped me get "out", and I will be forever grateful to them. You can choose to work directly with a counselor in person, by telephone or online. As a team, you and your counselor will work together to create a livable spending plan and establish an action plan for becoming debt free and achieving your financial goals. This WORKS, Eric.
After my first appointment they told me to come back with nothing but an envelope filled with every bill I had, and they would work with me to handle everything. Then, they called each and every creditor I had, they called them personally, and spoke with them on my behalf, telling them that I was going to pay off these bills if it was the last thing I did -- but that I just needed a little patience and a little time. Then they made a pledge on my behalf to every creditor of what those creditors would receive on a regular basis. Then they piled all that into one lump sum payment that I sent to the Counseling Service each paycheck, and they paid all the bills for me, breaking my check into many different smaller parts and distributing cash to every creditor. And they always made sure that I had enough left to live on.
I couldn't believe there was actually a service like this! Someone who could TALK to my creditors, get them to UNDERSTAND, and, most important, get them to GIVE ME A LITTLE SLACK. It was amazing, Eric. Call these people TODAY.
Now Eric, you have said, "I feel like a total failure in life." Please, Eric, I want you also to go right now and get a copy of Communion with God. Read about the Ten Illusions of Humans...and pay particular attention to the chapter of "failure."
Failure does not exist, Eric. Every scientist knows this. Scientists and researchers understand perfectly that every so-CALLED "failure" in the laboratory is actually a stepping stone to ultimate success. It tells the researcher what is NOT true -- and that is the first step on the path to what IS.
You are a "researcher", too, Eric. You are researching your Self. You are on a search for Who You Really Are...and every so-CALLED "failure" is simply a stepping stone to ultimate success in that search. Believe me, Eric, I know. I have walked this path, touching every stepping stone along the way! No one has "failed" more than I have, Eric. I have had 26 jobs, six wives, nine children, lived in five states...geez, can it get any more hectic than that?????
Eric, you are on the path to attainment! Congratulations! Don't you DARE "give up." I know that you have even entertained thoughts of suicide. So did I! But now I want you to read yet another CwG book, the very latest. Eric, I want you to read HOME WITH GOD in a Life That Never Ends. Please pay particular attention to the material on ending one's own life. It is amazing, insightful, and the book itself is deeply healing.
You've told me, Eric...."I am wondering why God is so pissed off at me. What did I do wrong? I am trying very hard to be a decent person..."
My wonderful new friend and pal...stop it. Just...STOP IT. You know doggone well that God is not "pissed off" at you. You know very well that you have done nothing "wrong." The Universe doesn't work that way, and you know it. So stop it. I want you to read a fourth book... Ask and It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This is quite a reading program I am putting you on, but you have said to me...
"What can I do, when I am totally broke and things seem hopeless? Any encouragement you can give me will be greatly appreciated."
I am telling you what you can do. Four books that can change your life. Read one a week for four weeks, and in 30 days your life will begin to turn around. It will probably begin even before that.
Do you like movies? Do whatever it takes to see a movie called The Secret. Go to the following website...
Obtain and watch this movie! Watch it over and over again! Watch it every day for a month!
Okay, Eric, there is your formula: "Two Phone Calls, Four Books, and A Movie." I love you, pal. Get going. Your life is about to change.
Oh, yeah...that prayer.
Here is the Magic Prayer that I want you to say once each hour, every hour, all day, for one month. Here it is, Eric. Write it down.
Thank you, God, for helping me to understand that this problem has already been solved for me.
Good. Now I feel complete. I am glad you wrote to me, Eric. The Best Days of Your Life are ahead of you, my new friend. They are ahead of you.
God has blessed you, now and always.
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