A Letter to Neale

Reader Question:

Dear Neale...

I have been on the spiritual path for some time now and it has not always been easy but in the past I have soon been able to see the gift in each situation and my faith has kept me going.  

In the last 3/4 years I have had a series of traumatic event occurrences one after the other.  My husband left whilst I was pregnant, my son was born prematurely and subsequently has not been well.  We have spent a good part of the last 3 yrs in and out of hospital.  Throughout this I have lost most of my friendships and have found myself dealing with things alone.

Amongst all of this I can see that the blessing is my son and I do feel very lucky to be his mum, but I have lost all faith.  This scares me, as it has always been a big and important part of my life.  It's what has kept me going.  I do not understand how such bad things happen to good people and also to children.  I feel angry and sad. 

I used to feel that things happen for a reason but now I don't know, maybe life is just hard and that's all there is...?!  Each time that I have managed, with all my strength, to get over one challenge, in rushes another one, with no chance for me to take a breath.  It's hard just getting through day by day.  Will I ever see a light at the end of the tunnel or, if I do, how long before another horrible thing happens??!!  I hate living in this fear, but--although I do try to dig really deep--I can no longer get that faith that kept me positive... can you help? 

I live in London, England.  Thank you, Maria  

Neale Responds

Dear Maria...Thank you so much for writing to me.  I am so very glad that you have done so, because it is your acknowledgment that God does exist, and that He is on your side, and that you have just lost your way a little.  Heaven knows, it is easy to understand why.

Maria, I am so sorry for all that has happened to you in these recent years.  If I told you that it was all for a very good reason, and that doors are being opened for you to experience your highest self at an even greater level, I am sure you would find that hard to believe, and may even laugh at it -- but it is true.  Yet even if you thought that it was true, at the very least you might say: okay, but why does it have to be so hard?

That is the question that Job asked, in the Story of Job in the Bible.  Do you remember the story?  Job was a good man, a hard worker, and a believer in God.  But then his life turned into a terrible series of events, one after the other.  He lost all his friends, his family life was shattered, he lost his livelihood, everything was shattered.  But the Bible tells us that he never lost faith, but rather, that he preferred to believe that it was all God's Will, and that he simply did not understand it.  All he needed, he knew, was understanding.

Then he heard a voice, telling him that God wanted one more sacrifice from him.  He was to offer up his first-born son on the altar of fire, as a sign of his faith.  Job did as he was asked, tearful and distraught, but deeply convinced that God had a plan, the good of which he could not see or comprehend, but which was nevertheless for his own benefit.  Just as he was about to light the pyre of fire, God stopped him, saying:

Job, you do not need to do this.  Fall back.  Free your son.  You have shown Me that your faith in Me knows no limit.  Such faith have you had that you shall stand as a model of patience and forbearance for all the world, for generations to come.  Go now, and live a life filled with reward for your good faith and your trust in God.

And Job untied his son and went forth back into the world, and prospered mightily, and married again and had many children and many friends.  His farming thrived and never again in his life did he want for anything.  And he blessed the Lord and gave thanks.

This is a loose remembrance of the story, Maria.  I probably have some details wrong, as it has been years since I read that story in the Bible, but the basic principle that the story seeks to share is true.  The principle is that faith and forebearance is always rewarded.  Not because it pleases God (God is not that cruel) -- but, metaphysically speaking, because it sets up an energy field around you that cannot help but create ultimate good in your reality.

It is helpful to remember that the Soul (which is a part of God) is creating its own reality at all times.  It is doing so, very often, in ways that do not make sense to the conscious mind, and that do not feel good to the body.  At least, not in the moment.  It is in the long run that the beauty and the wonder and the glory of the creation can and will be experienced.

How many of us have had terrible things happen to us in our day-to-day lives, only to look back later on those moments, and find that they were some of the best things that could have occurred, because of the doors they opened?  But we must have faith in this process, or we close the very doors we are trying to open.  Remember that your life proceeds out of your intentions for it...and your intentions arise wrapped in your beliefs.

If you believe -- and continue to believe against all appearances -- that all that is happening is ultimately for the highest good, then it will show itself to be exactly that, given the miracle of Time. 

In the meantime, though, it is a question of, how to find peace?  How to be happy?  I have learned that peace must come from within, Maria.  It is a product of your personal relationship with God, and with your Self, and then with the world around you.  If you are able to be quiet with yourself for at least 15 minutes each day -- maybe even twice a day, once in the morning and once at night -- you will begin to find this Peace within you.  Just sit in the silence, expecting nothing, moving past all thought, learning to be absolutely quiet with yourself, closing your eyes and looking with your "inner eye" at the darkness within, until you see the dancing blue light, a dancing flame of blue, between and just above your eyes, where the "third eye" would be.  See this from the inside, and this flame, or light, will light your way to inner Peace and Harmony.

Do not expect to see the flame.  You may not expect to see it, or you will not.  This is because you will be looking for it with such anticipation that you will not be open to having it show up unexpectedly.  So simply close your eyes in these brief meditations, and focus your inner attention on the space between and just above your eyes, but expecting to see or find nothing.  Just "be there" with your attention, and breathe, and listen to the sound of your own breath, and relax into the nothingness, relax into the quietness, relax into the moment.

Thoughts will come up for you, but just watch them and ignore them.  Keep focusing on the darkness and just let your thoughts slip away, by paying them no attention.  Do this twice a day for 30 days, morning and night, and see what happens.

Then, in your regular daily life, move into gratitude.  Experience gratitude in fullness, saying "Thank you, God" for everything that happens -- the good and the bad, the bright and the dark, the happy and the sad.  Just say, "Thank you, God, for bringing me this experience, this moment, this opportunity to know and to express my Highest Self.  Thank you, Life!  I have come here to know Who I Really Am, and to experience that, and You are giving me the perfect outcomes and the perfect settings within which to do that.  I embrace their perfection, even when I do not see it, for I know that All Is Perfect in God's World."

Just live, Maria, in the Heart of Gratitude.  Melt into Thankfulness.  Each morning awake with these words on your lips: "Thank you, God, for another day, and another chance to be my Highest Self."

And then, if you encounter another problem or difficulty, say this prayer as well, and say it often:

"Thank you, God, for helping me to understand that this problem has already been solved for me."

You will find yourself walking in grace, Maria, and feeling very soft and very peaceful, inwardly, even as the outside world seems to be falling apart around you.  And soon, this inner feeling, this energy of peacefulness and love for all of Life and complete faith in God, will begin to pervade your outer world as well, and to create and produce new outcomes, new and wondrous experiences...experiences of joy and love and abundance and goodness. 

You will find love, true love, with another, and your life will be filled with happiness and joy, laughter and peace.  And then you must promise Life one thing, Maria.  You must promise to share The Secret you have learned with all those whose lives you touch.  You must give people back to themselves, reminding them of Who They Really Are.  Out of your own experience shall come this Message and this Truth.

I send you peace, love, and joy on this day.  Reach inward for God, my wonderful Maria, and you will find your blessings there, now and forever more.

Amen, and amen.

Yours in service to Light and Love...


Subscribe to our
Weekly Bulletin!

Every week we present a new bulletin written by Conversations with God author Neale Donald Walsch. Once you've signed up you will be sent CWG related emails and a notification whenever the newest bulletin is available.